Well you see.. I can't sleep... So what do I do? Start blogging...
Well I have a lot of things that upset me... It is kinda bad.
Mostly I upset myself.
You know how people say that you are your own worst critic?
Well I think that that phrase is really drastic with this girl right here. I except nothing short of perfect from myself and this week has been rough. I have let myself down way too many times. And I put myself down way too much. I am a bully to myself. That isn't healthy.
I don't know how to handle it.. When I fail myself... My body just shuts down and I just cry. I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to change it and make things better. And I don't really feel like I have anyone to turn to. I try to just brush it off and tell myself it is all okay, but then just one more things adds on and makes it way too hard.
Excuse my rant... It has been a ROUGH week. Hopefully things will look up from here?
My goal: give myself atleast 2 compliments a day... We will start here...
-Jordyn
oh.. and when your boyfriend... well ex boyfriend thinks it is okay to take another girl that he has a slight crush on to prom. Yeah... Upest.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Day 21:: My Beliefs.
So just a quick side note:: you know how I had that one At first post? Well I have one to add to that.
At first.... I thought I made a bad decision... But I have come to realize that I didn't.
So back to day 21....
This I Believe:
I believe that the sun will come out tomorrow. When I was little I would here these words and I would just think to myself, "Of course it will, what is the sun going to do, dissapear?" it wasn't until I was older that I discoverd a new, deeper meaning to this phrase.
Everyone has their bad days, when they feel like absolutely nothing is going right and the world is against them. At least I know I do. Everyone around you tells you to try and look at the bright side of things, but it is hard when you are feeling so low and all you want to do is cry. One particular day I found this the hardest. I was personally at an all time high. I was with my best friends doing something that I loved. As we were traveling home after winning first place in a marching band competition there was a tragic accident. The bus driver of one of our tour buses fell asleep and went off the side of the road. One of our amazing staff members, whom everyone absolutely adored, stood up grabbed the wheel and to try and direct the bus back on to the road, We were very fortunate that none of our band members, our friends, our family, were seriously injured, but in saving everyone else Heather was ejected from the bus and killed.
I lost someone very dear to me that night. It seemed as though my grief would never end. But slowly it did. Day by day, inch by inch my sun came back up and life just got brighter. Of course the memory of Heather will live in the hearts of the people that she touched forever and she will always be missed.
So whether it be the death of a loved one, or another not so traumatic greif in your own life, the sun will ALWAYS come out tomorrow. This I believe.
And I am going to take this beliefe and apply it to life right now!! I hope that sun rises real soon!
At first.... I thought I made a bad decision... But I have come to realize that I didn't.
So back to day 21....
This I Believe:
I believe that the sun will come out tomorrow. When I was little I would here these words and I would just think to myself, "Of course it will, what is the sun going to do, dissapear?" it wasn't until I was older that I discoverd a new, deeper meaning to this phrase.
Everyone has their bad days, when they feel like absolutely nothing is going right and the world is against them. At least I know I do. Everyone around you tells you to try and look at the bright side of things, but it is hard when you are feeling so low and all you want to do is cry. One particular day I found this the hardest. I was personally at an all time high. I was with my best friends doing something that I loved. As we were traveling home after winning first place in a marching band competition there was a tragic accident. The bus driver of one of our tour buses fell asleep and went off the side of the road. One of our amazing staff members, whom everyone absolutely adored, stood up grabbed the wheel and to try and direct the bus back on to the road, We were very fortunate that none of our band members, our friends, our family, were seriously injured, but in saving everyone else Heather was ejected from the bus and killed.
I lost someone very dear to me that night. It seemed as though my grief would never end. But slowly it did. Day by day, inch by inch my sun came back up and life just got brighter. Of course the memory of Heather will live in the hearts of the people that she touched forever and she will always be missed.
So whether it be the death of a loved one, or another not so traumatic greif in your own life, the sun will ALWAYS come out tomorrow. This I believe.
And I am going to take this beliefe and apply it to life right now!! I hope that sun rises real soon!
-Jordynlynn
Friday, March 25, 2011
Day swancig:: Things I love
I know that is not how you spell 20 in German but when I learned it... We learned it like a swan smoking a cig. Baha ohh funny.
Any who... The things that I love. I love lots of things :) here are a few!
I love the way that rain smells on a hot summer day
I love the way my friends can cheer me up no matter what.
I love my family.
I love dancing in the rain.
I love the way that he smells.
I love hugs. From anyone... Everyone really.
I love getting letters in the mail. They make me feel important.
I love when I don't have to stay at work when I feel like death... that would not be right now:(
I love my iPod and every song on it.
I love swinging on swings.
I love warm summer days.
I love stars and looking at them for hours.
I love when people call or text me just to see how I am.
I love spinning. and everyone that I spin with.
I love the little kids that I babysit.
I love his giggle.
I love her love of life.
I love that he is really intelligent
I love going to the movies.
I love dressing up like a girl and also wearing my sweats.
I love eating home baked goods.
I love sunshine.
I love Thursday nights with the crady's.
I love performing.
I love smoothie king.
I love to learn new things.
I love watching the sunset.
I love teaching my girls
I love watching them grow and improve with what they are doing.
I love the miller family and all that they have done for me.. Mostly Tiffany.
I love Zupa's:: Ultimate no tomato and chicken enchilada chili.
I love long car drives to Reno and back.
I love my bed.
I love blogging
I love big poofy dresses
I love beautiful pictures
I love dancing.
I love getting paid... Yes today is pay day :)
I love all of you that read my blog and make me feel important :)
There is so much more I love but I don't want to take up all of your day!
-Jordyn
Any who... The things that I love. I love lots of things :) here are a few!
I love the way that rain smells on a hot summer day
I love the way my friends can cheer me up no matter what.
I love my family.
I love dancing in the rain.
I love the way that he smells.
I love hugs. From anyone... Everyone really.
I love getting letters in the mail. They make me feel important.
I love when I don't have to stay at work when I feel like death... that would not be right now:(
I love my iPod and every song on it.
I love swinging on swings.
I love warm summer days.
I love stars and looking at them for hours.
I love when people call or text me just to see how I am.
I love spinning. and everyone that I spin with.
I love the little kids that I babysit.
I love his giggle.
I love her love of life.
I love that he is really intelligent
I love going to the movies.
I love dressing up like a girl and also wearing my sweats.
I love eating home baked goods.
I love sunshine.
I love Thursday nights with the crady's.
I love performing.
I love smoothie king.
I love to learn new things.
I love watching the sunset.
I love teaching my girls
I love watching them grow and improve with what they are doing.
I love the miller family and all that they have done for me.. Mostly Tiffany.
I love Zupa's:: Ultimate no tomato and chicken enchilada chili.
I love long car drives to Reno and back.
I love my bed.
I love blogging
I love big poofy dresses
I love beautiful pictures
I love dancing.
I love getting paid... Yes today is pay day :)
I love all of you that read my blog and make me feel important :)
There is so much more I love but I don't want to take up all of your day!
-Jordyn
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Day 19:: The bucket list:)
Well you see I have a bucket list with my best friend Addie, But I also have one of my own... There is so much I want to do. I hope that I can fit it all in or remember it all!
1. Write my name in the sand on a beach
2. Pee in the ocean.. Yes... That is what I said.
3.Climb Mount Timp. And see the sunrise
4. Go to Disneyland
5. Travel the world
6. Ride in a hot air balloon.
7. See the 7 wonders.
8. Stand in four places at once.
9. Go on a road trip with my best friends
10. Skydive
11. Ride the fastest roller coaster on the earth
12. Donate a large amount of money to a charity
13. Own and Audi TT
14. Change someones life for the better
15. Receive no more tickets (ex parking, speeding, accidents)
16. Meet Justin Bieber. Possibly have him kiss me :)
17. Learn a new language
18. Take time to learn about a new person I meet.
19. Buy some sort of fast food and give it to a homeless person on the street.
20. Wear the biggest and poofiest dress I can find to some sort of event.
21. Become a princess.
22. Make the floor plan for my future home so it is just how I want it.
23. Run in a charity race.
24. Run in a marathon and finish top 15
25. Learn to snowboard
26. Learn to wake board
27. Learn to surf
28. Set foot on each one of the seven continents
29. Travel to all of the 50 states.
30. Go on a humanitarian trip to a 3rd world country and help
31. Visit all the great zoos.
32. Swim with a dolphin
33. Go scuba diving.
34. Ride in a submarine
35.Learn to play my guitar and be amazing at it :)
36. Write a song
37. Climb and active volcano
38. Have 3 children
39. Be a crazy old lady that races my wheelchair in a retirement home.
40. Camp out in a jungle
41.Attend the festival of colors.
42. Go to the north pole and visit Santa
43. Visit a concentration camp
44. Learn to long board
45. Go to college and get a degree
46. Get married and have my marriage last.
47. Scream at the top of my lungs.
48. Be apart of a protest that I believe in.
49. Donate blood.
50. Make a music video
51. Learn to brush off the bad things a live each day to the fullest.
I will get started on these 51 things and keep adding more to it :)
-Jordyn
1. Write my name in the sand on a beach
2. Pee in the ocean.. Yes... That is what I said.
3.Climb Mount Timp. And see the sunrise
4. Go to Disneyland
5. Travel the world
6. Ride in a hot air balloon.
7. See the 7 wonders.
8. Stand in four places at once.
9. Go on a road trip with my best friends
10. Skydive
11. Ride the fastest roller coaster on the earth
12. Donate a large amount of money to a charity
13. Own and Audi TT
14. Change someones life for the better
15. Receive no more tickets (ex parking, speeding, accidents)
16. Meet Justin Bieber. Possibly have him kiss me :)
17. Learn a new language
18. Take time to learn about a new person I meet.
19. Buy some sort of fast food and give it to a homeless person on the street.
20. Wear the biggest and poofiest dress I can find to some sort of event.
21. Become a princess.
22. Make the floor plan for my future home so it is just how I want it.
23. Run in a charity race.
24. Run in a marathon and finish top 15
25. Learn to snowboard
26. Learn to wake board
27. Learn to surf
28. Set foot on each one of the seven continents
29. Travel to all of the 50 states.
30. Go on a humanitarian trip to a 3rd world country and help
31. Visit all the great zoos.
32. Swim with a dolphin
33. Go scuba diving.
34. Ride in a submarine
35.Learn to play my guitar and be amazing at it :)
36. Write a song
37. Climb and active volcano
38. Have 3 children
39. Be a crazy old lady that races my wheelchair in a retirement home.
40. Camp out in a jungle
41.Attend the festival of colors.
42. Go to the north pole and visit Santa
43. Visit a concentration camp
44. Learn to long board
45. Go to college and get a degree
46. Get married and have my marriage last.
47. Scream at the top of my lungs.
48. Be apart of a protest that I believe in.
49. Donate blood.
50. Make a music video
51. Learn to brush off the bad things a live each day to the fullest.
I will get started on these 51 things and keep adding more to it :)
-Jordyn
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
day 18:: At First...
At first...
We were just friends. Not only friends... But BEST friends. He was a silly kid. Everyone thought so.
At first.. we dated... And we didn't work out.
At first... we decided we were better at just being each others best friends.
At first... I thought that was going to be the end of our romantic lives.
But.. at first... I was wrong
We ended up getting back together and I fell in love. He was great. We were together for 7 months. But then something happened. I don't really know how to explain it. It's not like I lost feelings for him. I do still love him but I needed time to find out things for myself. And I think he understood. He may not like it... But he understood. And he needs to learn to make decisions for himself and grow up a little before we decide to be way too serious. Well.... That is life today...
At first... I thought I was perfectly fine with my decision... but now... I am hurting more then I thought I would.
-Jordyn
We were just friends. Not only friends... But BEST friends. He was a silly kid. Everyone thought so.
At first.. we dated... And we didn't work out.
At first... we decided we were better at just being each others best friends.
At first... I thought that was going to be the end of our romantic lives.
But.. at first... I was wrong
We ended up getting back together and I fell in love. He was great. We were together for 7 months. But then something happened. I don't really know how to explain it. It's not like I lost feelings for him. I do still love him but I needed time to find out things for myself. And I think he understood. He may not like it... But he understood. And he needs to learn to make decisions for himself and grow up a little before we decide to be way too serious. Well.... That is life today...
At first... I thought I was perfectly fine with my decision... but now... I am hurting more then I thought I would.
-Jordyn
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Number 17:: This week.
I will say my schedule for this upcoming week :) so you can all be creepers and stalk me!
Monday
I had the day off! Woot!
I went to A Guard at 6 am. Not fun..
I then went home and napped :)
After waking up from my glorious nap and getting ready, I went and got my hair did.
After that I went and talked to mr. christian dean shupe... Now I am single...
I then took Nicki to the lovely Olive Garden for her birthday
I went home and enjoyed a nice relaxing evening
Tuesday
Wake up really early :(
Go to work for the first time in almost a week
Stay at work all day.
Go to B Guard straight from work
Have Wasatch Academy right after B Guard
Then go home and pass out from exhaustion.
Wednesday
Wake up really early:(
Go to work
Have an hour after work to relax
Go to Wasatch Independent until 10
Go to McDonald's after guard
Off to home to sleep!
Thursday
Wake up really early :(
Go to work
Play with Addie!! YAY!
Go to Thursday night Chili's with the Crady's
Off to my bed!
Friday
Finally! Wake up real early:(
Go to work... But it is okay... wanna know why? It is pay day!!!
Go home
Play with Jahde! I have missed him!
Go home and sleep.
Saturday
Wake up early
Go to guard
Teach Wasatch Academy
Go home to get ready
Be back to the School and get on a bus to head to Davis High School
Watch my girl perform
Sit around all day
Perform myself
Find out awards
Head home to sleep
Sunday
Being lazy
Dinner with the Fam
Sleeping
And this kids... Is how the week is going to go down. :)
-Jordynlynn
Monday
I had the day off! Woot!
I went to A Guard at 6 am. Not fun..
I then went home and napped :)
After waking up from my glorious nap and getting ready, I went and got my hair did.
After that I went and talked to mr. christian dean shupe... Now I am single...
I then took Nicki to the lovely Olive Garden for her birthday
I went home and enjoyed a nice relaxing evening
Tuesday
Wake up really early :(
Go to work for the first time in almost a week
Stay at work all day.
Go to B Guard straight from work
Have Wasatch Academy right after B Guard
Then go home and pass out from exhaustion.
Wednesday
Wake up really early:(
Go to work
Have an hour after work to relax
Go to Wasatch Independent until 10
Go to McDonald's after guard
Off to home to sleep!
Thursday
Wake up really early :(
Go to work
Play with Addie!! YAY!
Go to Thursday night Chili's with the Crady's
Off to my bed!
Friday
Finally! Wake up real early:(
Go to work... But it is okay... wanna know why? It is pay day!!!
Go home
Play with Jahde! I have missed him!
Go home and sleep.
Saturday
Wake up early
Go to guard
Teach Wasatch Academy
Go home to get ready
Be back to the School and get on a bus to head to Davis High School
Watch my girl perform
Sit around all day
Perform myself
Find out awards
Head home to sleep
Sunday
Being lazy
Dinner with the Fam
Sleeping
And this kids... Is how the week is going to go down. :)
-Jordynlynn
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Day 16:: Something that makes me feel better.
Well you see, there are a few things that make me feel better.
Blogging.. I know I am an idiot. But something about just writing makes me feel lots better
Writing in my journal.. It kinda goes along with blogging. Just more personal.
Coffee Heath Bar Crunch Ice Cream... Ben and Jerry's. Can't go wrong there
Hugs.... From anyone. Anytime. They make everyone better
Quotes... Like I have said before, I love them. There is a quote for every mood.
My friends... They are crazy. Make me laugh. No matter what.
Family... Well on occasion.
Colorguard.. A place to escape and do something that I am good at.
Blogging.. I know I am an idiot. But something about just writing makes me feel lots better
Writing in my journal.. It kinda goes along with blogging. Just more personal.
Coffee Heath Bar Crunch Ice Cream... Ben and Jerry's. Can't go wrong there
Hugs.... From anyone. Anytime. They make everyone better
Quotes... Like I have said before, I love them. There is a quote for every mood.
My friends... They are crazy. Make me laugh. No matter what.
Family... Well on occasion.
Colorguard.. A place to escape and do something that I am good at.
That all.
-Jordyn
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