It has happened...

I am happy. I am so content with life right now. It has only taken what, 2 months from "the incident" to get here? Ha

There is a few people I want to thank that helped me get to this point.

Nickelett Sage Hutchinson. 

She is my brown girl. I love her dearly and she will always be my best friend. We have big plans in the month of September. We are moving in together ( pray we don't kill each other:))
I aspire to be like her one day. She has her head on her shoulders and knows her values and will stick by them no matter what. She is gorgeous and I envy her.

You can see how amazing she is here!


Christian Dean Shupe

As upset with him that I may be... If that makes any sense... He saved my life that day.. If he wouldn't have rushed on over... I might not be here... Now enjoying life today! He truly is a great kid. He just needs to figure things out.

Addie Alee Wimmer

Although we aren't super tizight anymore like we used to be. Which is life.. It happens right? She is still amazing and wouldn't judge a soul. She has a bright future ahead of her and I will miss her very much in fall.

Tiffany Miller

Lets be honest... She is my second mother. Knows everything about me and still loves me:) I am so thankful for all the opportunities she gives me and the adorable children of hers that I get the fantastic opportunity I get to watch them as often as I do!

My family!

They are my biggest supporters. They want nothing but happiness for me. Especially my parents. They are amazing and I don't know what I would do without them. I love them!

and last but not least...

My new friend Colby!!

He came at just the right time in my life. He is hilarious and I am so thankful for his friendship!!

K that's all.. I hope you are all just as content with life!!

Don't take it for granted... It might all end too soon.

always, Jordyn

I just don't get it...

Can anyone explain to me?!

When will people ever learn?

I have to watch all these people be in so much pain and go through all of this hurt.

I watch people put off life plans and their future and then complain about it later.

All for what? A half hour of fun?!

I said something that I may regret a little bit now to some people that are very close to me.. And to you I apologize.

I just hope that you are going to learn soon. I can't stand to see another person die. It took too big of a toll on me and it can't happen again.

I've cried too much. And gone through too much pain..

Promises don't really mean anything anymore..

I am glad that I still have the people that stick by me and that I can trust.  To you... I am truly grateful.

It's hard saying goodbye to people that you cared about for so long.. People that you never thought would let you done have... It is really upsetting. But I guess that is a part of life!

It's hard to watch the people that you love make all of these mistakes but.. they just have to learn. As much as it hurts for me to say good bye to them and just let them be.. maybe that is what it is going to take.

I just need help letting go! :(
It's gonna be really hard for me to trust anyone anymore... 

always, Jordyn

New...

I am in need of a new background..

I just get bored easy and I haven't changed it for awhile...

Anyone wanna tell me where I can get cute new backgrounds?

Anyone wanna teach me how to be a pro blogger?

That would be pretty neat :)

It's a good day.

I hope you all have a smile on your face :)

always, Jordyn

Just trying to get through life...

..... The best I can.
I'm sorry.

always,jordyn

Why?

So today has been... Well rough... This whole week has. I am sorry for all of you that read this and follow my blog. I know I complain on it... A LOT! I am just in that weird process in life transferring from this little teenage girl to being an adult.

I really am sick of just waiting. I am sick of waiting to feel good again.

I feel like one moment I will be fine and just taking life as it comes and then the next... BAM! hit with reality. I need something to get me out of this rut. I really do. I just feel like I am falling further and further into a black hole.

I love my family.. I really do. But sometimes... I just feel a little suffocated. I know it isn't their fault. I know I have a huge part in that. I just feel like I am being held back and held down. So I made the decision to leave. It wasn't just like that.. I didn't just leave... There were things that made me get to this decision.It was emotional.

So here I sit, at my place of employment... With no car... No home... And not knowing what to do. I am sick of just sitting at my house day after day thinking about things that just make me more depressed. I try to get away from that... But it just pulls me back in. Maybe I should seek professional help. But I am not all for that whole sit in front of a stranger while he picks apart your brain stuff. I even struggle with taking my medication.

I live by the quote... Everything will be okay in the end and if it's not okay. It's not the end yet.

It is just really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. There are so many worries in life that I just can't get over. My world was taken turned upside down shaken thrown around a little bit, kicked a little bit and I am just trying to get back to normal.
What even is normal?

So for now... I feel awful. I am searching for apartments.. If you know any places that are pretty cheap let me know.. Looks like I will have to purchase a car too.. If anyone wants to sale me one for cheap let me know:) and I am just staying with friends... Lucky to have those people in my life.

I know my family will always be there. And I love them so much and I am grateful for everything that they do for me... It is just time to spread my wings and learn how to fly.

I am a strong person and I KNOW I am a strong person... This is just testing how strong.

My only question... Is why does there have to be so much contention in the world? Why must we take things so personal? I wish that we could all just live in perfect harmony... but I just that just isn't how it works huh.

On the bright side... It is summer time. I can walk places now that I don't have a car and not freeze to death. I can play outside and sit out and watch the starts late at night. I love summer and I love summer time.


I guess I will take the punches as they come... Live day to day.
Look at the beauty around me, appreciate the simple things. Hey look at it this way... I can use my longboard more often now:) I will be in great shape!

Thanks to everyone out there that loves and supports me in everything I do. I will be forever grateful to you.

Isn't this picture just beautiful. I fell in love. I can't wait to run around in the sunset. I can't wait to be free and live my life.

It's going to be okay.

Happy friday!

always, Jordyn

Quotations...

So as I have stated before... I am a quote freak.. Live my life by quotes.. Ring any bells? Anyways, I thought I would share some of my favorite quotes with y'all:) And since I have way too many quotes that I love... I am limiting myself to 5 per section...

Quotes on failure::
-Failure is only a temporary change in direction to set you straight for your next success.
-There are no failures- just experiences and your reactions to them.
-Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.
-I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
-To be wrong is nothing unless you continue to remember it.

Quotes on change::
-Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.
-You've chanced so much I guess that's what happens. I wish you knew how much you changed me. I wonder if I changed you, if your life is different because of me. Because mine's different. My God, you taught me so much, and now we don't even talk to each other. I guess that's what happens.
-Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.
-It really changed my life. When we split up, something changed, permanently, in me. My heart sort of broke that day, and it will never be the same.
-We are not the same persons this year as last, nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person. 

Quotes on life:: 
-Dream as if you will live forever, Live as if you'll die today. 
-To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. 
-One day your life will flash before your eyes.. Make sure it is worth watching.
-The most important things in life aren't things.
-Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again.

Quotes on friendship::
-Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.
-Promise me you'll always remember. You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter then you think. Christopher Robin to Pooh.
-Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.
-Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is make by the friends we choose.
-Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families. hahaha... that one is funny




Quotes on LOVE::
-I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more then any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them every thing about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. 
-If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.
-It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride. 
-I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
-You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.  

Well I could go on for forever. Unfortunately... the work day is over and it is time to go home! yay! 
Do any of you have favorite quotes?! If so please share! 

always, Jordyn

Looking through a new light::

Okay girls... Who can honestly listen to any Taylor Swift song and not think that she basically just knows your life?!

I fell in love with her lyrics, her music, everything.

Going through a hard time, Just put some T Swift on and you are set. She will explain any situation you are in with her beautiful voice and lyrics and you will feel better instantly!

Trust me on this one.

 I spent an hour sitting in my car yesterday with my dear friend Cade. What did we do you may ask... We listened to Taylor.

He said that sometimes he likes to picture himself as a high school girl when he listens to her. Made my day. He is a sweet kid.

After a week of crying everyday not knowing what I am doing with my life. That is exactly what I needed. It is a new day!

Sure life sucks! A lot of the time. But if you don't have those moments of complete sadness and despair then how are you going to know if you are having a moment of complete happiness?

As the great Marilyn Monroe once said,
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."


I am waiting for the better things to fall together. I am learning so much about myself through all of this. I have started to look at life a little different. It is taking sometime. I am nowhere near as happy as I was. And I am realizing that it will take some time.


Lets be honest though.. I am not a patient person... Never have been. Never will be.
I just wish that things weren't on bad terms.. That is all.


I want to thank Tiffany Miller especially... She is my mom.. well... Kinda. She has been the one person that I can talk to through all of this and she will tell me straight up how it is. I don't know what I would have done without having her there to vent to. She is amazing and she may or may not have saved my life.
Adrienne Shelley. She is my big sister... again... Kinda.... She is just a sweetheart and would do anything for anyone. I love her to pieces as well!


This is a turning point. I just need to suck it up and breath in the fresh air. Don't sulk so much on the bad and recognize and love the good and realize I can't control everything.


This post is really all over the place. but that is okay!


If you have never heard it... Go listen to the cover of Last Kiss by boyce avenue... It may or may not be better then the original. I would post the video on here.. but alas... I am at the place of work.


"We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets."-Marilyn Monroe

I may or may not love her today... Just saying.


Well that is all for now kids.. I still need to post my Disney pictures... :( I promise I will remember!

Peace out girl scout.

always, Jordyn