As Always:): Why?

So today has been... Well rough... This whole week has. I am sorry for all of you that read this and follow my blog. I know I complain on it... A LOT! I am just in that weird process in life transferring from this little teenage girl to being an adult.

I really am sick of just waiting. I am sick of waiting to feel good again.

I feel like one moment I will be fine and just taking life as it comes and then the next... BAM! hit with reality. I need something to get me out of this rut. I really do. I just feel like I am falling further and further into a black hole.

I love my family.. I really do. But sometimes... I just feel a little suffocated. I know it isn't their fault. I know I have a huge part in that. I just feel like I am being held back and held down. So I made the decision to leave. It wasn't just like that.. I didn't just leave... There were things that made me get to this decision.It was emotional.

So here I sit, at my place of employment... With no car... No home... And not knowing what to do. I am sick of just sitting at my house day after day thinking about things that just make me more depressed. I try to get away from that... But it just pulls me back in. Maybe I should seek professional help. But I am not all for that whole sit in front of a stranger while he picks apart your brain stuff. I even struggle with taking my medication.

I live by the quote... Everything will be okay in the end and if it's not okay. It's not the end yet.

It is just really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. There are so many worries in life that I just can't get over. My world was taken turned upside down shaken thrown around a little bit, kicked a little bit and I am just trying to get back to normal.
What even is normal?

So for now... I feel awful. I am searching for apartments.. If you know any places that are pretty cheap let me know.. Looks like I will have to purchase a car too.. If anyone wants to sale me one for cheap let me know:) and I am just staying with friends... Lucky to have those people in my life.

I know my family will always be there. And I love them so much and I am grateful for everything that they do for me... It is just time to spread my wings and learn how to fly.

I am a strong person and I KNOW I am a strong person... This is just testing how strong.

My only question... Is why does there have to be so much contention in the world? Why must we take things so personal? I wish that we could all just live in perfect harmony... but I just that just isn't how it works huh.

On the bright side... It is summer time. I can walk places now that I don't have a car and not freeze to death. I can play outside and sit out and watch the starts late at night. I love summer and I love summer time.

I guess I will take the punches as they come... Live day to day.
Look at the beauty around me, appreciate the simple things. Hey look at it this way... I can use my longboard more often now:) I will be in great shape!

Thanks to everyone out there that loves and supports me in everything I do. I will be forever grateful to you.