I just don't know what is up lately.. I am up then I am down then I am really down then I am really up... I am talking about my mood here kids.
I let others effect my mood way too much. A big culprit...The boy.. I don't know what it is but so many things are driving me insane lately... Like today for example... I asked him to go to breakfast with me and he said he was going to the assembly, first of all, when has he ever gone to an assembly? Then sarcastically I was like you never want to spend time with me, his response you may ask? I am at school and then walked away. Yeah for those of you that know him... When has that ever mattered. Especially during an assembly. I know he needs to be focused on graduation and not me but I like to feel important too. I am a hopeless romantic and he is far from it. I want a boy that will show up on my door step in the middle of a fight to apologize and say that I am the best thing that has happened to him and he stays away when we fight. I want flowers for no reason a hand written letter with him telling me that he loves me.. I don't know cute things like that. Now don't get me wrong. I still love him to death. He is amazing and I wouldn't trade him in. But I don't know.. I just wish I was a little more important in his life. Like any girl wants to feel right? He is just different lately.. and not a good different. But I am putting a lot of blame on him.. I could be a huge part of this as well. I just have gotten to the point where I feel like I am pushing and pushing for something that he is just over. I wish he would just tell me already so I can stop going insane! But his focus needs to be on school. On graduating on time. I need to realize this. GAHH
And work. Oh! don't even get me started. So I work at a call center right. and I let ornery ignorant people on the other line effect me. They don't know me. They don't know what kind of day I am having. I let them effect the rest of my day way too often. I need to fix that.
I am in charge of me... I need to figure out how to control my feelings a little better. Maybe just stay bottled up. I won't bug anyone with my silly issues anymore.
Well thank you for reading my awesome sob story :) much appreciated.
I hope your day goes better then mine does!! :)
On the bright side.. It is Thursday. And I am going to the tulip festival today!! Even if my boyfriend bails on me..I will go with my bestie or my sister :) And also that means that tomorrow is FRIDAY!!
-Jordyn
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