Life.

Life is a beautiful thing.

Sorry about the last post. I was having issues. I just need to take a step back and see that life truly  is an amazing thing.
A lot of us are extremely lucky to live the lives that we do. If you take a step back and listen to some of the things that you are complaining about they are so small in comparison to a lot of the world issues.

I know.. God knows us better then we know ourselves so he only gives us things that he knows that we can handle. I have comfort in this. Knowing that at least someone has faith that I can get through my problems. But still, I feel like my issues are so small in comparison to things like the holocaust, starving to death in a 3rd world country, not having clean clothes or shoes, not having a job, not having a family and a boyfriend that loves and cares about me.

I am truly blessed with my life. No matter how down I get sometimes I need to realize that life is beautiful and I am loved and I am one lucky girl.

always, Jordyn

Sigh...

Excuse me while I have a pity party.. K thanks.

I just don't know what is up lately.. I am up then I am down then I am really down then I am really up... I am talking about my mood here kids.

I let others effect my mood way too much. A big culprit...The boy..  I don't know what it is but so many things are driving me insane lately... Like today for example... I asked him to go to breakfast with me and he said he was going to the assembly, first of all, when has he ever gone to an assembly? Then sarcastically I was like you never want to spend time with me, his response you may ask? I am at school and then walked away. Yeah for those of you that know him... When has that ever mattered. Especially during an assembly. I know he needs to be focused on graduation and not me but I like to feel important too. I am a hopeless romantic and he is far from it. I want a boy that will show up on my door step in the middle of a fight to apologize and say that I am the best thing that has happened to him and he stays away when we fight. I want flowers for no reason a hand written letter with him telling me that he loves me.. I don't know cute things like that. Now don't get me wrong. I still love him to death. He is amazing and I wouldn't trade him in. But I don't know.. I just wish I was a little more important in his life. Like any girl wants to feel right? He is just different lately.. and not a good different. But I am putting a lot of blame on him.. I could be a huge part of this as well. I just have gotten to the point where I feel like I am pushing and pushing for something that he is just over. I wish he would just tell me already so I can stop going insane! But his focus needs to be on school. On graduating on time. I need to realize this. GAHH

And work. Oh! don't even get me started. So I work at a call center right. and I let ornery ignorant people on the other line effect me. They don't know me. They don't know what kind of day I am having. I let them effect the rest of my day way too often. I need to fix that.

I am in charge of me... I need to figure out how to control my feelings a little better. Maybe just stay bottled up. I won't bug anyone with my silly issues anymore.

Well thank you for reading my awesome sob story :) much appreciated.

I hope your day goes better then mine does!! :)

On the bright side.. It is Thursday. And I am going to the tulip festival today!! Even if my boyfriend bails on me..I will go with my bestie or my sister :) And also that means that tomorrow is FRIDAY!!

-Jordyn

A day in the life.

So today... Hmmm what is going on you may wonder?

Well here I sit at work. Trying to figure out what to blog about today. So I was like huh... I bet everyone would like to know what I am planning on doing today.

Well once I get off of work... (can this next 55 minutes be any faster?!) I will go to my dear banking center. How blessed am I to have money? :)

I will then go to my home and probably clean my car. It is really dirty... Kinda sad. I need to take better care of my car. Nuff said. Oh! and hopefully Christian will come play with me for a little bit. That would be nice.

Then hopefully... fingers crossed everyone... I will get my i Phone!! I am so excited I can hardly contain it. Conditions of me having it: I have to go deposit the $30 extra a month that it will cost into my momma's bank account, I have to pay to get the phone itself, and finally I have to put a years worth of payment in the safe in case I get out of work and can't afford to pay the monthly fee. Done and done.

I am hoping that this is how my day goes. It would be super stellar and pretty neat.

I will keep you posted :)

-Jordyn

Frustration

So there are a few things that frustrate me.


It frustrates me how he will take a situation and turn it around to have a pity party on himself. Just let someone else feel bad for 5 seconds.

It frustrates me how he will turn anything around to be someone elses' fault. Take the blame.

It frustrates me how he complains about so many different aspects of his life but yet he isn't willing to change anything that he is complaining about.

It frustrates me how he can't find the time to talk to me when he knows I am having a really crappy day and all I need is my best friend.

 It frustrates me that it turned around to being my fault.- see point 2-

It frustrates me that he changes his mood so fast. I don't know how to keep up.

It frustrates me that when we are both upset we can't have a civilized conversation. Everything is screaming and fighting. We can't just work through our problems.

It frustrates me that he thinks a simple I am sorry is going to fix everything. Sorry doesn't mean a thing anymore.

It frustrates me that when I am out with friends he gets all upset cause I am having fun with people other then him but he can go out and have a good time without me?

There really are so many more things that frustrate me.

I know I know, that sounds awful. But these are also the reasons I love him very much too. I wouldn't trade all of these bad things for a million good things. Sure he has stuff to work on, but I do too. I love this boy. I wouldn't trade him for anything. :)

-JordynLynn

Miley Cyrus.

So here I sit at work... I ask, what should I write about. My dear friend James tells me Miley Cyrus. Alright? I am up for the challenge!

So I am not gonna lie. There are moments that I love Miley, Like the TV show Hannah Montana, Yes, I have seen every episode. The Hannah Montana Movie, I cry every time :) Some of her music.  The Last song. One of my favorites.

But then there are her off times. Like smoking a bong? alright? And I can't be tamed. Wtf Miley. Dating Liam Hemsworth. That is only off cause he is a sessy man and I would have like him. :)

Yeah I don't know what else to say?

What are your thoughts on Miley?!

-Jordyn

RIP Daddy.

Kent Rowland
1964 ~ 2011
Kent Rowland was born 6-25-1964 to Dean & Maxine Rowland, Kent reunited with his parents and one sister Kathy on 4-6-2011.

Kent is survived by his 3 children, Wade, Jordyn and Erin Rowland, Siblings: Debbie (Randy) Hansen, Rick (Paula) Rowland, and Carrie (Ed) Pruitt. And his companion, Tiffany Duvall.

Services will be held Friday 4-15-2011 at the American Fork North Stake Center at 11 am. 975 North 60 East American Fork UT. Friends may call 1 hour prior to service.

Internment will be held at Pleasant Grove cemetery under the direction of Anderson and Sons.

This Ladies and gentlemen, would be my father. We just held his funeral on Friday. It went pretty good. I had a ton of support from friends and family and I don't think I will ever to be able to thank them enough. 

Everyone that knows me knows that, well... I didn't have the best relationship with my dad. He made some life decisions that I didn't particularly agree with. So,  I kept my distance. To keep me from getting hurt.

Now that it is all said and done, sometimes I regret not having a little bit better of a relationship. But I guess everything happens for a reason right? I could have tried better though... All those times I went to pick my sister up I could have went inside and said hello. 

What's done is done now... There is no turning back. This has taught me a very important life lesson. To tell the people you love that you love them dearly. More then just once every few months. Live every day to the fullest cause one day, without any notice or caution, it can end.

Dear dad, 

I am thankful for all that you taught me in the times we spent together. You were a little girls hero once upon a time. I am sorry for being such a brat a lot of the time. I really do love you and I hope you know that. I believe that you are in a better place now free from your pain and sorrow. I know you loved us three kids more then any other thing in this world, even if you found difficulty in showing it sometimes. I know that I will see you again someday and I honestly can't wait for that day. To see you in a pure state. Like I remember when I was little. You taught me how to fish the river, shoot a paintball gun, that cool finger trick that kills!, you showed me what kind of parent that I want to be in a weird round about way. You showed me how to care. You should me a little bit how to work on cars. You were always a great mechanic. Though you were not perfect, though nobody really is, I still loved you. Still love you. Even though I didn't show it, or say it all the time. Most importantly of all, and I am sad that it took your death to teach me this, You showed me how to forgive. Not to hold a grudge. Daddy, I forgive you. I'll be seeing you soon. 

Love, Your little girl, Jordyn lynn

And Finally... One last thought...

One last thought..
wow... It has been one long month... haha 

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

- Groucho Marx

You never truly know when life is going to end. Something could happen and it could be brought to a halt tomorrow. Don't wait. Don't wait to tell the people you love that you love them. Don't wait to do the things that you really want to do. Don't hesitate to take thousands of pictures. We must cherish every day that we have on this earth. Why waste time being sad and upset about things when there is sooo much more to be happy about. I know, I know, it is hard to always be happy. When you are sad you get in a slump and you just want to have a pitty party. But I have come to the realization, what's the point? If you don't like something about your life or yourself, change it! Starting today... Live a happier more full life. Don't regret a single thing when you die. 

                                                                                                                                          always, Jordyn

Day 29:: My biggest aspirations

Sorry it has been awhile. It has been a crazy last couple of days. My dad just recently passed away so we have been trying to figure out everything with that.

My aspirations though... hmmm

To make something out of myself.
To make the people that I leave behind proud of what I was and what I did with my life.
I want to die of old age, knowing my grand children and hopefully great grandchildren and getting to see them grow.
I want to be happy with my life. 

I really regret the fact that I didn't really have a chance to know my father. He had a disease, it made it hard for me to get to know him. He is my father none the less and I still loved him. It makes me sad that he had to go the way he went. But his suffering is over. He is in a better place now. I just wish he wouldn't have left so much drama behind. :)

I love you dad. I hope that you are doing better now. You will be missed.

Day 28:: A new dream.

Well you see, I don't really know...

Bad? Probably!

I met with my good friend Nate yesterday. He is pretty much a genius. Love that kid like a brother. So he was helping me out with some options. I was gonna go to UVU for elementary education. Take some sociology courses and things would be dandy right? Well minus the large amounts of money that I would have to pay :(

So he then explained to me the Salt Lake Community College or SLCC option. It would be 3 thousand dollars cheaper in the course of two years. That is A LOT of money. So I think I am going to go with this option.

I am still doing some pre- education stuff and getting my associates there, then transferring over to UVU. Well maybe... We'll see if that changes :)

-Jordyn

Day 2.7.- A picture.

Isn't this just beautiful?! I love love love sunsets. They are just so peaceful to sit there and watch. Especially on a warm summer day.

Just knowing that the day is over and a new one is about to begin.

It makes me to happy. I am so blessed to live where I live. We have some gorgeous sunsets here in Utah. Thanks to the gorgeous mountains.

But that is all. I thought I would just share my love of sunsets :)

-Jordyn