Sorrow.

So you see, there is this boy, and the way that he laughs makes me smile, and the way that he talks gives me butterflies & just everything about him makes me happy.

Well that is how it used to be I guess. I try to be positive about situations. It is true. But this one is just hard. This boy above would be Christian Dean Shupe. My boyfriend of almost 5 months. You may say that isn't long enough for someone to fall in love but, I was head over hills for this boy. I loved him. Still do.  I know I had my flaws and I may not had been perfect, but I believed that we were there for eachother through alot of stuff. I just wish that he felt the same..

You may call us stupid. Cause well at times we were. But we talked about having a future together. Maybe being together forever or something like that? I guess that things change? We talked about him going off to bootcamp (he is a marine and he is going to be amazing!) and then coming home and I would be waiting for him. We talked about maybe starting a family together and how we would be there with and for eachother through everything in the future.

"Having the love of your life break up with you and say we can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom say you can still keep him"

We have been friends for the longest time! It was bound to happen everyone says. I mean us falling in love. We tried it once.. It wasn't the right time. We met back in the 11th grade, well he was in 10th. Yes I am older then him. We met through a mutual friend. We became really good friends instantly. Well as life moved on we dated this one time... Like I said before... Wasn't the right time. But this second time I think it was meant to be. As stupid and cheesy as that is. It started on August 7th, 2010. Warped Tour. I don't know how to explain it. Something just clicked. But you see.. There were some... complications.... But we worked most of them out. It became official August 27, 2010. The day of his EP release. What a good day for him right? And things just went from there. Yes I am giving you a  bio of our entire relationship. :) And today... Out of nowhere.. It ended. I am not only loosing my boyfriend... I am also loosing my best friend. My everything. I feel lost and empty. I don't know what to do. As I sat and just cried tonight, It didn't hurt that bad, because I think that part of me knows that this isn't the end. It can't be. Not like this. But I guess we don't know what the future brings. The future is hazzy.

So for now... this is goodbye. Goodbyes are always hard.

"Yes I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothign that I would like better than to hold on to him forever. But I know it's not for the best. So no matter how much my heart is going to break, I've got to let him go so he can know just how much I love him. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll come back, but if not, I can make it through this."